I’m officially losing it. Last night, I had a dream that Corey and I were hanging out with Steve Nash and Kevin Garnett. And, to make matters worse, each time I would speak, a small piece of spit would fly out of my mouth. However, Steve was nice enough to pretend not to notice.

Yes, we had a nice conversation about how tall and short people are. I think Kevin was even taller in dreamland than he is in the real world. He didn’t hang out much. Actually, he came storming through the room followed by many tiny kids chasing after the basketball he bounced between his legs and swung around his body. When he threw the ball up in the air, Corey grabbed it and to my dismay gave it to some snotty-nose kid instead of taking it home to play with in our home basketball court. Yes, I am mean in my dreams, selfish and mean.

My buddy Amy was there, too. She did admit that Steve looked much better in person than he does on the ball court with his greasy hair. (Yes, I admit having a secret crush on Steve. He did bring me back to the sport after I lost interest when the Bulls started to suck.) As you can see, Steve and I are on a first-name basis, and for those who care, things are well in Canada.

The dream ended, quite oddly, with all of us in a conversion van trying to outrun a bunch of crazy people who were crashing their vehicles into each other. (Those who know me may recall that I detest conversion vans and had a hard time having to look at one outside of my apartment in Sauk Rapids.) This was right before the basketball game was to start, fortunately we got through it all without whiplash.

All in all, I don’t think I have dream-laughed so hard in my life. I woke up with a big ‘ol “what the hell?” I just can’t figure out what this could mean! I haven’t remembered a dream in months. Could this possibly be related to the fact that I have taken up running (ahem run/walking) within the last week, or that I made beans from scratch for the first time last weekend? Are there any dream interpreters out there? Help!

For those of you who know me, and if you are reading this and your last name isn’t Vilhauer you probably don’t, I am attempting to break into the fine world of film making by creating a script or two.  My “formal” education comes from the fine Film Studies program at St. Cloud State University.  Yes, the very same University that churned out iconic TV legend Richard Dean Anderson…

Jealous, yet?

My concern with screenwriting is that, well, it’s hard work.  Not only might the script only be entertaining to yourself, but you have to come up with an original spin on it, or what is the point of making it?  On top of that, the films that I appreciate have a subversive message.  Much like X2: X-Men United is actually a film about the gay community and them being segregated/seperated from the rest of society.  Look it up, Brian Singer (the writer/director) is gay.  He is also writing/directing the new Superman Returns film, so look for that!

Thing is, I don’t have something like that.

I have faith though that it will come around.  I am reading Life According to Hitchcock (also known as “The Hitch-book” in the USA) written by master director Francois Truffaut.  Even Alfred started out making a couple of stinkers, and didn’t really land critical acclaim until he was already considered “old news.”  This was like the 1920s and early part of the 1930s when sound was just breaking into the industry.  Well before he ever found his stride with films like The Man who knew too Much, Strangers on a Train, Rear Window or Psycho.

So maybe pulling a Mel Brooks and winning Best Original Screenplay on your first attempt is reaching a bit for me, but I feel with some solid ideas I can make it happen.  I’ll keep updating my “fans” (c’mon, I know there is no one out there reading this) as to my progress, but won’t talk about script/idea specifics until I get it copyrighted. 

So until then, I will leave you with this wonderful link that has brought my loads of happiness in down times…

http://www.kimmelgnomes.com/

Oh yeah!

Hello?

It’s been a bit quiet at the Misc.Asst. factory lately, but we do have a few new contributors who, hopefully, will actually contribute. Myself, well, I’ve been holding off. But I cannot any longer. I’ve got important random things to post about.

Wait. No I don’t. Except for one thing.

Indiana Jones and the Gratuitous Sequel is on.

From Newsvine (taken from a SpielbergFilms.com article):

Unless some very powerful fates finally conspire to do Indiana Jones in once and for all (and he’s beat some pretty tough foes in his day), the long-awaited fourth film in the “Indiana Jones” franchise is full speed ahead for production this year (and release next year, according to series creator George Lucas).

With that, I headed over to SpielbergFilms.com to read the full thing. There wasn’t much more to say, apparently:

While director Steven Spielberg remained largely silent on his work on “Indiana Jones IV” during the busy days on War of the Worlds and Munich, Spielberg finally broke the silence in a recent interview with Israel’s Yedioth Ahronoth newspaper.

“I haven’t given up making entertaining films, but over the last decade I have been making some films that express the respect I have for history,” Spielberg said.

“I am about to make Indiana Jones 4, which is, as far as I am concerned, the sweet dessert I give those who had to chow down on the bitter herbs that I’ve used in Munich.”

I think that about says enough to set the ‘net ablaze with talk tonight!

Now, as a fan of the Jones series, I’m quite excited. However, I have this dark foreboding fear that this could totally suck. I’m not sure that anything can beat the Ford/Connery duo and awesome story of The Last Crusade.

Wait – The Last Crusade, eh?

I guess the word “last” has a lot of different definitions.

If like me, you’re tired of chopping your fingers off while trying to build that custom rocking chair with your traditional, unsafe table saw then feast your eyes on what could save your remaining phalanges. The SawStop:

The SawStop is pretty amazing when you think about it. Just watching the videos you’d swear it was a pre-tiger act by Siegfried and Roy. The saw blade basically detects when it comes in contact with the human finger based on the conduction of electricity through the human body, which is greater than that of wood. When it detects the surge in current, a brake is applied and stops and retracts the blade into the housing.

The result is not a missing finger, but rather (hopefully) a minor gash on the skin.

A couple videos are available from the website:
http://www.sawstop.com/media/Table%20Saw%20-%20WMV%20high.wmv
http://www.sawstop.com/media/high_speed_demo_WMV.wmv

I could definitely see something like this being used for shop class, or tech ed in school. Though, I don’t remember ever using a table saw myself I’m pretty sure there were certain parts that used one. Looking for numbers of saw-related injuries in schools I found a pretty in-depth article on Inc.com regarding the SawStop and its creator: http://www.inc.com/magazine/20050701/disruptor-gass.html, though I winced a bit when the article said, “Miraculously, the instant the blade made contact with the wiener, the saw shut down and the blade retracted.”

Reminds me a bit of the recent “Chuck Klosterman’s America” article in Esquire, where he talks about how most things that are necessity have already been invented and the things we’re coming up with now are being invented to solve non-existent problems. Though the SawStop seems much more practical and does put a damper on a multi-billion dollar injury category.

So again, how will I cut my hotdogs? (If you don’t get it, watch the video)

This will be my last post for a few days – I’ve been a little more prolific than I’d first expected, but there’s just so much random (or, miscellaneous, you could say) stuff that comes up in my life that doesn’t have much use on BMOWP that I needed to put it somewhere. I don’t want to hog up the site, so you’ll hear more from the other real contributors instead of my self-promoting ass.

Once a week, at most twice. I’m going to spend the rest of my Misc.Asst. time promoting the site to the hundreds of blog directories in the world. I promise.

Don’t hold me to that, though.

Anyway, you know this site’s about nothing in particular when I bring up Jesse Camp.

Thanks to an opinion piece in The Onion about Jesse Camp — “I Don’t Wonder What Jesse Camp Is Up To These Days” – I decided to do some hack reporting via Google to see what Jesse, a forgotten soul from my first year of college, has been up to.

What I found surprised me.

First, Jesse Camp has been immortalized by someone’s Angelfire.com website – in fact, this is the #1 site, according to Google, for Jesse Camp. My visit to Jesse Camp’s World taught me many interesting things about the former “I Want to be a MTV DJ” winner:

- “Jesse’s Bday is november 4, 1979 - he’s a scorpio.”

- “Jesse loves to draw and paint.”

- “He’s sooo tall and skinny (about 6′4 and 90 lbs, or so they say) that the MTV wardrobe people have trouble finding him cool clothes to wear.”

- “During his first times on the air, Jesse missed his cue because he wasn’t listening to his earpiece.”

I feel like I really know him already. I wanted to learn more, but unfortunately the aqua blue background and multiple Jesse Camp pictures started giving me a headache, so I left the site.

Knowing his desire to be in movies, it was no surprise to run across his Internet Movie Database profile. Camp was in two movies (a cameo in Brittany Spears’ Crossroads, and Skinwalker, a movie by Rob Howard). To see that Camp scored a Rob Howard film was impressive – I loved Cocoon, and A Brilliant Mind was, well, brilliant!

Wait. That’s Ron Howard? Oh. Never mind.

Another site, I Love Jesse Camp, presents to us a list of links that have become broken in the eight years since Camp’s relevancy waned, and the author and creator urges us to “go out and buy his self-titled album, Jesse Camp And the 8th street Kidz, because it is the best album in the world!”

Of course, I had to check the All Music review of Camp’s album. Let’s just say it didn’t get five stars.

There may be more irritating fringe figures in the history of rock & roll, but none are worse than Jesse Camp. A spoiled suburban rich kid who decided that acting as if he were mentally retarded would be wickedly funny, Camp rode MTV’s manipulations into quasi-stardom, including such ridiculous highlights as gracing the cover of Spin magazine. Since he had wormed his way into celebrity, only one thing was left — have him produce something of substance that would sustain his fame. Hence, a recording contract and his debut album, Jesse & the 8th Street Kidz, a record that sounds as if it was released in 1989.

Awesome.

I found one more crazy fan site, My Shrine to Jesse Camp, which seems incomplete. Consisting of one page, My Shrine lists a lot of great Camp stats:

Real Name: Read
Occupation: Read
Birthday: Read
Birth Place: Read
Sign: Read

I don’t know what is meant by “read,” but Jesse seems like a very well rounded person!

Finally, the official word in everything Jesse Camp: The Wikipedia page.

Of course, if you don’t like Jesse, you can just go here.

Jesse was a true star, a star that we’ll never get back, I fear. We miss you, Mr. Camp. You and all of the 8th Street Kidz. Your unending posing and oft-misunderstood voice will never be replaced.

(Thank God.)

Anyone who knows me, knows that my movie of choice when my nose is runny and my body is achy is Babe. Yes, Babe, the movie about a pig raised by sheepdogs who learns to herd sheep and learns his place in the world.

Farmer Hogget won Babe at the county fair by guessing his weight. But before Hogget gives his final answer, cute little Babe relieved himself. It’s at that point where you know that you’re off to a great start….

I don’t know if it’s the little mice between the scenes or the whole idea of animals talking peoplespeak, but the movie is as comforting as chicken noodle soup, sprite and hot herbal tea.
In Babe, we learn that sheep have feelings too and that a pig is not just a large slab of bacon.

However, I saw a movie this weekend that may have ousted my sniffly nose movie tradition–Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were Rabbit. I believe it was the sticker on the back of their van, “Eat Cheese Now Ask Me How” that may have done it. Mmmmm… cheese.

I knew there had to be a reason this duo has received such a fantastic following in England and that Wallace and Gromit toast racks, egg cups, teapots and talking dog bowls are all the rage. (I now have a gift idea for Becket’s birthday.)

What’s more to love? A town that stops everything to raise giant vegetables, rabbits that say “weeeee” and a dog who says more with his facial expressions than could ever be said in barks are just a few of the many reasons why you all should not pass go, not collect $200 and go directly to your movie store and pick up this flick.

Babe, you’ve been good to me–and you will continue to have a special place in my heart–but there’s a new children’s movie in town, and it’s made out of clay. Thank you, Babe, for all you’ve done. As Pa Hogget would say, “That’ll do Pig, that’ll do.”

(I wonder how I could get my hands on one of those Wake ‘n Bacons?)